I had a rather disturbing experience yesterday while travelling in a fully packed train. An insensible someone tried to get into the train when there was no space and another lady decided to block the entry so the insensibles couldn't have their way. Result: The insensible was left hanging out on the door in a fast moving train well out of the platform. I didn't realize this at first, because I was too busy in my thoughts and listening to music. A few seconds later, with horror I realized someone was hanging out the door and the image of a friend who died young because he hung out and got hit by a pole during a train journey came to my mind. I couldn't stand still waiting for moments to pass and let time take its turn. I scolded the lady "What the fuck is the matter with you? Where's your humanity?" And when she rattled on and mixed up the insensibles sense of purpose and my reason for scolding her, " Don’t make excuses for your complete lack of humanity"
Within the next few moments, I had made a compartment full of women hate me for defending the insensible who got in. I made it clear to the blocker that I am not defending the insensible's foolish actions rather condemning her action of letting someone hang out of the door like that while she deliberately blocked the entry, in a moving train.
I can't figure out whether the women understood my words, whether they understand the repercussions of their actions - about how the insensible could have easily fallen or got hit and died. Can someone live the rest of their lives knowing that their one moment of foolishness resulted in the death of another ? But they didn't see the point. They decided I was defending the insensible. May be it helped them block out a guilt. May be they just didn't want to listen and understand or even consider. I know if I catch the same train again on Monday or any other day, I will be looked at as the supporter of the insensibles.
And though there were no specific thoughts besides the image of my friend who died at 20, I don't know why for the rest of the day I felt powerless. Not a long time ago, for a documentary I made with friends on a social evil, I had chosen, none less than out of full conviction, the words - "The power of one can change the world"
I feel like I am sitting in the dark now - trying to save my conviction from dying. I don't know the actual impact of my actions. But I know that during the 20 minutes I fought to save someone's life, in the midst of 100 criticisms, there was one soul I touched who re-thought about her actions that result from a bad set of circumstances. May be faith and conviction need to go hand in hand.
Circumstances happen to everyone. Why is it difficult for people to accept a compassionate response to a difficult circumstance? Why does one hurt make us hurt another? Personal justice is a darkening vain concept, even more than a misunderstood ego.
2 comments:
vinisha...there is nothing to react..this just shows your good heart and v have to rest content with that..when i used to get upset with the way others treated me..a Maharashtrian friend used to temme: U r like an elephant, y do u react to barking dogs..well, whether i am an elephant or not, it did make me feel better. ignore the reactions, keep your actions as u did rightly...cheers friend..
gosh... this is something i see and wonder everyday..
Good for you that you spoke up and it will better for you if you don't give up... The problem with people including enlightened ones like you and me ;)is that we get complacent - we compromise and accept majority to be true... we get so caught up in the rut that we have made our life, that regret at what could have been leaves no place for compassion and rational thought... Wow.. i can get carried away.. i better stop while i'm still making some sense (at least to myself)
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