Sanguine Life

Randomness of Faith

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 04:40:00 +0000

Prayers are an important routine for Indians. Be it the solace of a temple or church, or the quiet air of a home made 'puja ghar' or the noisy plateaus of crowded Mumbai locals at 6:30 am or 8:30 pm, people are, sometimes it seems to me, addicted to praying. Praying in the form of chanting hyms in the praise of God. Does it give their inside worlds an extra ordinary power to live through the cubble hole of life? Then again, isn't that exactly faith does - even if it faith in oneself?

Festivals are a big thing too. Celebrations born out of a religious fervor where people end up having fun. Sometimes, they seem so engrossed in the festivities, they forget God altogether. An abuse somewhere or worse, rape. Mindless alcohol consumption makes a person forget the teachings of that which he's out celebrating and many more like him are enough to make the rest insecure. I wonder whether the vice of alcohol actually shows us the person for who he/she really is. Religion is famous for the security it should provide to the heart of an individual, yet... it makes us insecure. The many religious riots stand are proof enough. Do we forget our principles because we are blindly following them or are we pretending its importance just to blend in?

Sometimes, we ought to stop and ask ourselves - what are my principles as a direct result of my self-faith?

---------

I wrote this some days back when travelling. A bit random, ain't it?

Visiting those Buckety Listings

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 10:58:00 +0000

It's mid December. That's like a deadline. Not work, silly. Personal deadline… for so many things. Resolutions, for starters.

:( Yes ! I broke my resolutions! Bah! Waaaaaahh! :((

I am tempted to blame it all on the mystery guy being so busy with weddings he has to drive to, he can't take me out anywhere. Honest confession - I even wrote a statement to that effect but deleted it promptly. Yes, I have a conscience :(

Damn!

So let's review the buckety listings progress.

Learn to drive and cook - Hah! I couldn't get over my personal limitations on either. And the limitations do not include procrastination. :P
Break the shell - Well, this has worked for me. Yes, I did. Wheeee!
Relationships (build 2 new close friendships ones and maintain old ones) - This is something I am touchy about this year. I lost 2 friends - one to stupidity and other to differences that couldn't be resolved. I wish I could change things around but that’s the way it stands. I have built 2 close friendships though. Friends have been the stars this year for me.
Attend workshops and exhibitions - Phhbbbbtttt! :P Except for a rose society exhibition - I really haven't attended any
Love like I have never loved before - For friends, it stands. Rest, ahem! There still seems like sometime. ;)
Financial literacy - Err, yes I spent a lot this year. But I also invested and the funny fact is - I felt broke and almost scrambled around for money after investing a good chunk because there wasn't any left to spill. :O
Mumbai Darshan - Nope. Shameful. *Bends head in shame*

Not too bad I guess. Bad yes, but not too much. :)

Breaking Bonds

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 17:55:00 +0000

A house window witnessed the wrath of sunlight over rocky mountains with stray trees. Inside, a woman lingered her eyes between the sunlight of the world and the darkness of her own. The sheets were all ruffled - despite the lack of action. Dead sleeper, did her last boyfriend call her?

A lazy Sunday with no commitments. The thought gave her a relief and made her lazy. Of course she dragged her out of bed, what's the purpose of jumping into action? Suddenly, like the stray trees, a stray thought jumped her thought wagon - A little girl ghost. They are known to be a lot more scarier than the usual disfigured ones or the distressed in white lady ghost.

"What the hell?"

She sighed at her stupid mind and proceeded with the most leisurely and important activity of her Sunday - making coffee.

'Colombian coffee' - the new pack said. The aroma was intoxicating to her. She took her own sweet time making the best coffee ever and sat down sipping it quietly, eyes closed… legs up in the air…a careless posture and a sigh of satisfaction.

Her phone beeped. A sigh of dissatisfaction.

"I am not gonna answer." - And she left the room. The stupid mind sprung into action with a zillion things her team at work was having trouble with. She turned. And stopped.

"I am dispensable" - And for the first time, she felt glad that she was. She turned again, away from the phone.

The Fearful Rut of Sleeping Beauty

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:17:00 +0000

The sense of breathlessness was real. The fear was earth shatteringly real.

She could reach out and touch the invisible force which bothered her all her life. But she was not brave enough… yet.

She tried sucking in the air, waiting like a troubled fish to get her breath again. It never occurred to her that she was so dependent on her breath. Now it did, like a slap on her face, remind her of it's importance.

The image of her assigned savior saved her in her dreams from her enemy and made her breath again. When wide awake, she could not suppress a smirk at the irony - her savior was never there for her in the awakening.

Like a rapid scary slideshow, a stream of images misplaced one another. As if stuck on the scariest of them all, it stopped on one image she didn't want to see. Her eyes half closing, her head did the most natural thing - it shook, in a conscious effort to break free of the jam in her slideshow. The black twin eyes felt the gravity and became desperate to hide behind the thin skinny walls. The head shook again.

"Soon… soon this will be over" - she said to herself. She knew it would.

"Is this it? Is this the moment where my fears come true?" - the same she said to herself. She braced herself, waiting for the fear to reveal reality.

Nothing happened. Her mind drifted to the thoughts of unassigned saviours. She sent one of them a message. He responded back. The rut was draining. It was coming to an end. She talked to him till she found her breath again. It came like… (hah!) … like a breath of fresh air. She was fine. She let the twin blacks have their way.

Deep slumber … not peaceful but a deep one, nevertheless.

* Fransico Goya, Bon Voyage

Travel Thoughts

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:57:00 +0000

There's something totally amusing about skeleton man wearing pants lablled 'machoman'

Advertisement seen on a bus - "Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties."

An empty train went past today... Never considered the possibility that one could see through the train to the other side. Living in Mumbai has it limitations.

Experimenting with styles & colours seems difficult for most men. I wonder why?

I never fancied cats as much. Now I find them cute because a cat lover friend described them beautifully. Funny.. how we connect to other beings.

Size matters when it doesn't conform to the average standards. Else No. We are surprised by generic statements in its entirety

Take a huge box. Let humans walk into it. Sounds funny?

Think buses.

Oh.. give the boxes some wheels!

If you did something for the sake of doing it, everyone around you knows.

Always, there are at least 2 ways of looking at the world.

The Unceasing Mystery

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:51:00 +0000

Words a little and then some more

Clear the fog, lend vision in the darkness

Left alone, in who's insecurity?

Say 'em words a little and then some more

Endless fights & even more peace

Consequence nothing, but the shady clouds

Far away landed, have we, from the path treading on

Just a thought to have this ruckus going on

Help, it would, you only gotta say...

Words a little and then some more

Clear the fog, lend vision in the darkness

Left alone, in who's insecurity?

Say 'em words, a little and then some more

Stand in silence, hold your hand

Read your mind, I'd never learn to

Fret not, it's not too fun

As much it'd be in...

Words a little and then some more

Clear the fog, lend vision in the darkness

Left alone, in who's insecurity?

Say 'em words, a little and then some more

Words a little and then some more

Some more and some more

Never cease these beautiful words

A little and I hope, there are a lot more.

And then they spill out...

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:14:00 +0000

Burning with desire to love these words

My hands don't wanna stop, neither does my heart

The best of all music, sings in my ears

Never before heard for it was never given a chance

A heavenly voice or would it be the voice of the witch

Mysteries always attract, why is the ordinary treated unjust?

Dance like the life within me, wants to burst out

No judgements to stop it, no eyes to entertain it

No bodies to join in its union

Selfishness becomes the highest virtue

Thinking of the beginning of time

When music brought life out

Why does it have to be in the night?

Refusal to worship it in the daylight

Considering the highest possibilities

Of a journey and it's traveller

Misfortune of stepping with the never ending illusion

Called time

Ideas jumping in and out

Of this imaginative world

The voice of angel, exhilarated with her own

For others just to be bystanders

Randomness is the word for this

Inexplicable burst of words

Tormented by the deeds of

A delusional bitch holding joys within

Can sorrow be joy and joy be a sorrow?

Can confusion be clarity and clarity, confusion?

Fine lines torn down

Union of the darkness and light

Not for victory over the other

But to exist in harmony

And love of endless passion

Can this destroy me?

Or will it throw me into the spectrum of

An unimaginative possibility

Have I lost it? - asks a supposedly sane being

But may be, I have finally found it

Or started on my journey to find it.

Go away, you judgemental fools

Live or judge but can never do both

One can be either

The observer or the performer.

Why do 10 heads suddenly turn

Into space and stare blankly

Someone impassionate while others appreciating

Some others jealous, and some merely insecure

Is it all the emptiness within

Each of our souls?

Why waste a lifetime finding it,

When just living it certainly sounds good?

Unwritten and written rules

Seem so full of sham

Is it our incompleteness

Or foolishness

Believe it, we do

That its possible to control

Hah! Fools!

Fools! Fools! Fools!

That's all we seem to be

Us Fools!

A whole humankind!

A whole dynasty of foolish Fools!

Stories of the Hollow Night

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:06:00 +0000

Hollow becomes the night

An unrest withheld

Waiting for the time of loneliness

Where the unreasonable isn't an outcast

Miss the fancy world

And the silliness of life

Without meanings and yet so full of it

A forgotten song played

Once purposeful in arousing the mystery

Embodies the exalted one

The centre of this universe

No one to worship though

Does it still remain the exalted one?

Lonesome moments arrive

On a truck load of sorrow

The unreasonable unleashes

Tears withheld none so last

Drag 2 miserable feet

Across the cold path

Hoping the next step

Will be my last

Regrets sing a mournful tune

A helpless cry suppressed

For in the darkness of the night

Another soul might linger

Wanting to catch

The most helpless soul

To ease the misery, oh so desperate

But misery is it's right

And no other soul has the right

To ease it or rob it or take it away

It is the moment of no one else

But the soul forgotten

The soul heartbroken

The soul unreasonable

The soul without a purpose

The depths of hell are

Probably the only hope

That the shiny clouds of heaven

Are as real as the moment of lonesome souls.

Hopes are rather the words

Which make the hopes come alive

Everyday, with the glory of each of its moment.

Never ending though it may seem

End it will, when you least want it to

That is the dynasty, the fate and the destiny

Miserable indeed, but you've had your chance

To grab it and love it so passionately.

Time of your life, someone said

Someone was wise.

Silly Girl's Manifesto

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:50:00 +0000

Tip toe across, and throw in a jump or two

No little red riding hood, neither a ballerina

Dancing waves not, nor a teeny happy worm,

It's just how happy my mind is, silly

No longer stuck in a dilly dally

Shout out loud for the farthest waves to hear

And then whisper so the breeze can too

Neither a mermaid nor the singing birds

Not the voice of the rain or the drizzle

It's just how happy my mind is, silly

No longer stuck in a dilly dally

Swing around the trees & jump across tiny bridges

Not the joyful chimps nor their little ones

Happy pests not and not a jumping jack

It's just how happy my mind is, silly

No longer stuck in a dilly dally

The curtains of pain have torn down,

Multitudes of ecstatic shoes transform into dancing

Laughing faces look through each other

Eyes singing all the happy songs

The feet dancing all the happy tunes

The brows of fulfilled sweat

The soul of a content being

Never wish to stop, for there be no end

To the joy of this moment

For the moment would never end.

An Omnibus :)

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:51:00 +0000

A Ruined Core

Assurance of the best kind I gave myself

Memories of you, upon them I still dwell

Take you off my system, I wish for endlessly

Yet a sight of you, I wait for breathlessly

Disappointing and none else

Habitat of the core of me pulse

Snatch you from the midst of me

Never again you, I wanna see

Dreams of you, still come and haunt

The icky voice inside loves to taunt

Let time take its turn, I did so

Look the path it chose to tread home

When will I be free of you?

Waiting for a lifetime, I have been too

To forget you I want... And nothing more

My tender heart already seems gone sore.

----

Voice I Love

A distant voice I strain to hear

Lest it disappear, like a picture all smeared

Yearn to trace the outlines of your face

Your memory is slowly becoming a haze

Still don't know whether I don't love thee or I do

A lifetime of journey I wish I had been through

Move on, I etch the words in stone

Follow the mandate, my heart so desolate moans

Unlucky in love, I truly maybe

No other stand to protect me, there be

Wither away into unwritten history

Like the distance in your voice, soon to be a mystery.

---

Hollow

An empty space resurfaces

An endless dusk as a preface

Know not how to fill it up

Or make it disappear

Scars of a past not so ancient

Suddenly feel like wounds impatient

To let it heal, I begged and prayed

Tonight, I just endlessly craved

Gone mysteriously, just as you came

My hurtful mind refuses to be tamed

Come alive, like a fountain once dead

A million drops, words akin my heart would have said

Waiting for wounds to heal forever

See your face, I wish to never.

Dum Di Da Clouds

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:03:00 +0000

Like a million grains splashed across the floor,

For the sole purpose of the beauty of its sound

Rain drops splash across this barren earth

Sprinkling life, even heavens don't know abound

During winters, the Peek-a-boo behind the mist

Is the same played by the downpour of the heavens

Stretch my hand out to this hiding world

And then with mighty elation taken a twirl

Walk over the joyous river

I wish for the power, if there be one

With the rain drops falling on my face

Feel the world, I have always just seen

A mountain has sound god-like - the zenith reachers say

I wonder for the sound of the distant seas

Clouds over them once joyously played

Amidst the path of endless joy, I look to the heavens

And thank not the Gods, omnipotent and all

But the life spirit of the cloudy pranks

Which always thrill all

Once a travel at a time

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 10:12:00 +0000

A long time ago, I overheard this conversation, one of the many I hear during my train travels.

Both were once friends, then got married, and lost touch. This was a chance meet. A bit after after the formal introductions:

W1: So you got married?

W2: [awkward smile] Yeah, married my boyfriend of 3 years. But it's not working out. I filed for divorce recently.

W1: [hurt] That's sad. How are you putting up?

W2: [encouraging smile] Okay now. I was more than happy to split up. I wasn't meant to be a beaten up wife anyway. Plus he used to always travel - what's the point of such a marriage?

W1: [thoughtful] He beat you up? My husband did that the last week and I told him to keep his manhood to himself. I am also thinking enough is enough. He's fought with me endlessly all these years after marriage, but raising his hand on me was the last straw.

The conversation then followed the typical "men are bastards" route. Nothing very interesting.

I normally ask - Why do people get married?

But I'll be... accommodating here and ask - Why do people get married when they haven't learnt to respect each other?

P.S. I use full volume music these days when travelling because most of the conversation one tends to overhear is utter bullshit and adulating generalizations.

Tragedy of the Missing Tear

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:25:00 +0000

To miss that which you once abhorred

Never seemed a possibility

To wish for that which you once battled

In the midst of a disability

In awe of this malady

Insomnia becomes the tragedy

Ain't I joyful, with laughter sprinkling wild?

Ain't I content, with the mindfuck aside?

In the busy-ness of the normalcy of life

Have I forgotten how to strive?

Challenges gone astray

Soul transforms into a mystery

Disappears in its mild form

Who knows, into which storm?

Wake up with an empty feeling

With questions I am adept at dealing

Answers seem delusional

Am I living an illusion?

Mr. Soul seems missing a link or two

I stand, half expecting, from the darkness, a Boo!

No such games does he like to play

Killing me with what he'd really like to say

Hearing is a challenge

For he dwells within a silence

Grace me with his presence, he will

Commitment of my actions, he sees until

Soulless, I am doomed to be

In the foggy night, I dream not to see

Figuring feels out

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:58:00 +0000

Wednesday Sept 23, 2009

4:35 am

There is a challenge. Others can deal with that challenge well. I can't. And I can't even figure out how they can deal with the challenge because the challenge surpasses all realms of frustration and absurdity most days. Is it because others face a good relationship with that challenge - that they can deal with it, probably even never feel the need to call it a challenge?

This whole episode is twisting my guts out in 7 different directions and I can't figure it out. Friggin' shit!

P.S. I just realized while I had one thing in my mind when writing this, there's another totally different situation in my life that fits the bill too. My guts are going in 14 different directions now. *Ugh!*

The Dawn of the Night

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:53:00 +0000

The night has a beautiful quality about it. The darkness has endless stories dancing around within it. The beggar finally owns his dog and plays with him under the street light. The night girls step out, their presence most obvious in a crowd. Alley ways seem like the busy traffic road. Danger lurks quietly and none ever knows when it might strike. The full moon makes up for the artificial life of lights. And the wind beckons your face into its never ending mystery.

How could the experience of venturing out into something so beautiful be dangerous to so many?

Forgetting Us

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:18:00 +0000

I had a rather disturbing experience yesterday while travelling in a fully packed train. An insensible someone tried to get into the train when there was no space and another lady decided to block the entry so the insensibles couldn't have their way. Result: The insensible was left hanging out on the door in a fast moving train well out of the platform. I didn't realize this at first, because I was too busy in my thoughts and listening to music. A few seconds later, with horror I realized someone was hanging out the door and the image of a friend who died young because he hung out and got hit by a pole during a train journey came to my mind. I couldn't stand still waiting for moments to pass and let time take its turn. I scolded the lady "What the fuck is the matter with you? Where's your humanity?" And when she rattled on and mixed up the insensibles sense of purpose and my reason for scolding her, " Don’t make excuses for your complete lack of humanity"

Within the next few moments, I had made a compartment full of women hate me for defending the insensible who got in. I made it clear to the blocker that I am not defending the insensible's foolish actions rather condemning her action of letting someone hang out of the door like that while she deliberately blocked the entry, in a moving train.

I can't figure out whether the women understood my words, whether they understand the repercussions of their actions - about how the insensible could have easily fallen or got hit and died. Can someone live the rest of their lives knowing that their one moment of foolishness resulted in the death of another ? But they didn't see the point. They decided I was defending the insensible. May be it helped them block out a guilt. May be they just didn't want to listen and understand or even consider. I know if I catch the same train again on Monday or any other day, I will be looked at as the supporter of the insensibles.

And though there were no specific thoughts besides the image of my friend who died at 20, I don't know why for the rest of the day I felt powerless. Not a long time ago, for a documentary I made with friends on a social evil, I had chosen, none less than out of full conviction, the words - "The power of one can change the world"

I feel like I am sitting in the dark now - trying to save my conviction from dying. I don't know the actual impact of my actions. But I know that during the 20 minutes I fought to save someone's life, in the midst of 100 criticisms, there was one soul I touched who re-thought about her actions that result from a bad set of circumstances. May be faith and conviction need to go hand in hand.

Circumstances happen to everyone. Why is it difficult for people to accept a compassionate response to a difficult circumstance? Why does one hurt make us hurt another? Personal justice is a darkening vain concept, even more than a misunderstood ego.

Managers & Leaders

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 01:15:00 +0000

Management. Leadership.

See the difference! Rather feel the difference! Not all managers can be leaders. And this can be deduced to a single quality I have seen all leaders have. Empathy, understanding and respect.

Okay - that's 3 qualities. I just couldn't resist :P

So to all those who are newly promoted or have been warming the seats (probably hiding those eggs) - get off your asses and be a leader! It's a bloody refreshing change for this otherwise drab world of business and management.

No… money doesn't have to be the only interesting concept. It's outdated. :)

P.S. I know some of you go "Ugh!" when the word "Management" comes into picture. That's exactly what Management does. Leadership gives you a new word -- "Woohoo!!"

P.P.S. - Don't agree with all of the above? Go suck an egg! My blog!

Mine

Mine!! :P

Focus

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:26:00 +0000

I can't focus. :(

I want to

so badly

but I can't

Is this one

of the many moments

where the heart

and the mind

divide

tearing me apart

frustrating my core

makes me wanna

break the end of

2 alien fingers

just so

I can hear

"Kaput!"

Is that really

what an alien finger

breaking

would sound like?

Right about now

I wanna trot

in the field closeby

just so I can hear

"boink boink"

and go up and down

with a wheeee!!

And I wanna

twirl

till I faint

Not of spinning heads

But of elation

Would that

put an end

to my misery?

Can I gnaw

at my core

just so I can

set my mind right?

Ugh!

I can't focus.

Bleh!

Phhbbtttt!

Hmpf!

A Bit of Reality

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:06:00 +0000

Reality can be altered. For the simple reason that your entire existence circles around your perceptions of things. So if I change my perception, my possibilities are amazingly refreshing and broad. It’s the kind of freedom most dream of but never have the courage to pursue.

And I love being this free. I love the smile of my soul through this unchained alterable reality. It’s pretty darn amazing

Mind & it's Lore

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:24:00 +0000

Dominating through the shadows of light

Chivalrous than the happiness so bright

Rest in peace, a heavenly abode to thee

Sneaking nevertheless, the curious cat wants to see

Stonger the being, once ran helter skelter

This heart felt alone in its shelter

Merciless offense of the warring sorts

A simple button, I wish, for abort

Captivating minus the limelight

Sucking out all the delight

Disdain and misery wish to rule the day

Wish all they want, they'd never have a say

Going somewhere I was with this masterpiece

Lost many ways, in this clutter and cease

Don't know my way in the light

Darkness makes my heart take a flight

A deep slumber beckons me through

My expectations, glad to form a crew

"What the fuck?" I mutter jaded

As the vision around me suddenly faded

Tireless once was, troubling is the task now

Seeds of brightness, I wish for it to sow

Blah Blah Blah, good night folks

Tonight, there be no lores.

P.S. Huh... what? --- If you said that too, join the club. Ice-creams are a mandatory entry fee.

Of the day that has been

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:47:00 +0000

Went to town today. Had a sad time shopping with a pal at Causeway. The shopkeepers are bloody looting people by charging double and blinding themselves to the fact that the dark skinned ones are NOT tourists. Hell! Wanted to rip them apart and give them a piece of my mind. Found a sexy tantra Tee though that read -

"Che is dead. Get over it" - Unfortunately, they didn't have my size, only the larger one. :(

By the way, most of them shopkeepers were Keralites. Bloody mallus - always charging double and refusing to accept the right price. Dont bother suing me - you the one who cannot take criticism. I am a mallu and I am at least fair in my demands, at least monetary.

Went to Marine Drive to watch the pretty pretty sunset. No rains, low tide, no breeze. I humbly asked into the thick humid air - some breeze and a sunset please. Immediately I had the breeze, nice soft and slowly relaxing my soul. I asked for a drizzle - I had that too. We sat without an umbrella accepting that there is nothing wrong with getting a little wet in the rain as long as it's not acid rain. Felt G-O-O-D.

Got a glimpse of the sunset as the fluffy white clouds gave a little bit of the orangy sun away for me. I went happy, grinned and shouted "Way to go dude!" to the Sun with 2 thumbs up.

Yes, I might be crazy. No stars, then again, I didn't really ask for it.

The tough part of the evening was made up for by the ****D-I-V-I-N-E**** Chocolate Avalanche Jr. and a cup of cappuccino. Mmmm.... heaven.

Blah'ing the Night Away

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:16:00 +0000

There are strange journeys we undertake in Life. The unpleasant ones teach the most, the pleasant ones are like a holiday to calm the stressed out nerves.

The uncertain ones are like being stranded in the dark with your eyes latched up, just in case you come into the light. I have never liked darkness - the dusky kinds.

Why can't I be a Jeanie just for a day and zap my way into brightness?

Perhaps, the brightness is the deserty kinds instead of the greeny kinds?

It's 12:16 am and Vinisha is officially talking gibberish.

Oh Blah! Sue me!

*SIGH*

Introspective Perspectives

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:46:00 +0000

Real life is much too slower than a movie. Who should I blame - the life, the movie or the me?

Most times in life, a week seems too long and yet 2 years seem really short. Einstein said "Time is an illusion" and indeed it is. 2 years of feeling in an upheaval makes it go by fast and a week of drudging makes it go slow.

Unlike a movie, the zillion stories in life reveal themselves a lot later and usually once the frantic activity is over. Or is it that a frantic activity makes us less capable of objectively listening to the stories that give a new perspective in life? Why is it only during introspective hours that things seem a lot clearer? Feelings are messy, unorganized, illogical and have the amazing ability to turn everything upside down more worse than a rollercoaster. Yet, we cannot do without them?

Ergo, humans are not the smartest beings. Such du'uhs!

Betraying Betrayal

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 15:02:00 +0000

Life has its phases

Some elevating, some blazing dazes

Nothing remains the same

No change constant

Except the core of a good heart

The exceptional strength of a wanting soul

The fervor of an eternal imagining mind

Does one phase seem the end?

Then look again, for it might just be a new beginning

A bud might look small

But it has the potential to be a flower

A flower might look pretty,

But it has the potential to wither away soon

The purpose of a flower is never to wither away

Its passion is to make many a smile many a day

To make life happen,

Even when death comes blasting through the door.

Games They Play

n.vinisha@gmail.com (Vinisha) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:17:00 +0000

Wicked games the heart likes to play

Speaking words of love, the mind does say

Is it both curled into one?

Them brats! Never be the common sum

“Feel your feelings” someone said

Trembling feet, my heart bravely treads

The workings of his heart, the wanting of his mind

If I were to know, it’d be very kind

For the darkness of love, prolongs the misery

The light in the woods of learnings from history

Unravel them all, my mind suddenly discerns

Learnings of what kind, it humbly concerns

Close my eyes & hide my face

None shall see my eyes for the truth in them stays

Confessions seems the easy way out

Tough be the fear if this is a temporary bout

The darkness of my mind, the games of my heart

In history, they have played a part

A pre-written story, I am tempted to conclude

Then remember the readings of my recluse

I write my own stories, the wise men preach

Everything comes to a halting screech

The moment stands still, except for the beat of my heart

The mind is calm though it shall soon start

For now, peace is the order

Chaos tend to stretch much too broader

This be the end of my soulful rambles

Lest soon my heart crumbles.